CRA review

Assignment 7

Parker Wallace

                Before reading my paper, it is very evident it is not long enough. After reading the sample essays I see that in order to accurately get my points across and be precisely comparative, my paper needs to be extended by quite a bit. For the small amount I do have, I think it has some ups and downs. To begin, I think my intro grabbed the attention of the reader and contained necessary information. With a topic like mass shootings, the topic doesn’t need much spice to entice the reader. I outlined each side of the argument and I show how each will be compared later in the paper. My thesis statement is not clearly stated in the introduction, but it is present in the conclusion so I don’t know that I need to change that. Looking at the sample papers made me realize I need to have a title, so in the first paragraph that would be the only thing I change. Moving on to later in the paper, I truly think the sources I used are very valuable to the paper because they show extreme thoughts on both ends of the political spectrum and the last source used is a peer reviewed article that isn’t really biased and disproves ideas given by both parties following shootings. I could incorporate more sources to make the paper longer and strengthen my arguments against both sides. I don’t do a lot of comparing the two sides, just describing the view given by both sides. Since this is a comparative rhetorical analysis paper, I should probably compare the two. It is evident to me that I am very repetitive in describing the opinions of the conservatives and liberals, which is something else I should change. I like my conclusion and I wouldn’t change much in it. It brings together the paper pretty well and includes the thesis statement for the paper. Overall, I can improve my paper by adding some length to it. I can do this by adding sources and comparing the sides of the fight against each other better.